Blessings and Trials

I was reminded at church today how important it is for me to record the things that happen in my life. I've always been skeptical about how what I write will be critiqued or criticized by other people that may read it- and this could be people years from now. What I realized today was that the Lord has been providing me with special experiences, he is expecting me to share them, and the only way to pass on these special experiences is to write them down.

So this post maybe completely out of order, since I've been trying so hard to play catch up over the last year. I was really hoping to finish out the 2011 year so I could put all the entries in a book, year by year, so we have a very organized way to reflect on our lives. Sadly, this will break that "perfection" I've been working hard to create. I do want to remind myself, and my family, that we experience both positives and negatives in our lives, and the only thing that will make a difference is how we respond to these experiences. It's a great reminder, at this time especially, in my life when I feel weighed down with struggles. No, they aren't horrible, and most people would not notice the struggles we are facing every day, but I feel overwhelmed with them right now, and want to point out that even though I feel discouraged, I know that my Savior is there for me, if I only go to him for help. One of my very favorite quotes goes like this:

It is easy enough to be pleasant, 
When life flows by like a song, 
But the man worth while is one who will smile, 
When everything goes dead wrong. 

I am reminded when I read my Patriarchal blessing, that I was entrusted with special children and that I have an obligation to teach, prepare, and train for the important callings in their lives. That is a very hard thing to remember when all I can think about is running away- away from the yelling, away from the anger, the frustration, away from the tempers, the school principal and teachers, away from the homework, the chores, the ingratitude, and laundry list of things as parents and housekeepers we need to do on a daily basis.

I would love to make lists of all the good and bad things that are happening right now, but I feel like I shouldn't. What I do want to pass on is the reminder I had today, that bad things will happen, and sometimes we need to stretch our spiritual muscles a little bit, it's the only way to grow. I do know that we have been blessed with a book where the answers don't change, seemingly endless Prophetic words to read from conference talks and such, and a Father in Heaven that will answer our prayers. 

I was listening to a talk by John Bytheway last week where he related this poem:

My life is but a weaving
between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors,
He worketh steadily.
Oft times He weaveth sorrow,
And I, in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And I the under side.

Not 'til the loom is silent
and the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas
and explain the reason why

The dark threads are as needful

in the Weaver's skillful hand,

As the threads of gold and silver

in the pattern He has planned.

He knows, He loves, He cares,

nothing this truth can dim.

He gives His very best to those

who leave the choice with Him.